Should mothers stay home?

Over the past several weeks, I have come across a varying response to that question.

I personally have a bias to this issue. Being that my mother worked for most of my life until I left home, I have always wondered if life would have been different if she had stayed home.

I watch my sister raising her children, while at the same time going to school, getting her degree, starting her own business and now building her business. I was surprised one day when I went to have a bath in the "kids" bathroom. I was completeeeeeely grossed out.

The bath hadn't been washed out in how long and when I asked my sister about it she said oh I stopped doing it ...it's their bathroom. I disagreed quietly but left it alone. I left a note on the mirror telling the kids that it was unacceptable that they leave it in that condition for anyone to see. Being that I own my own cleaning business I am sure my message won't escape them.

Frankly, I think my sister is remiss in not making them clean the bathroom properly, especially as it is the only one with a bathtub, and has to be shared. Aside from that fact that it's just unhealthy to have a bathroom in that condition. The sight of my niece's hair all up the shower wall and in the bathtub was almost too much for me first thing in the morning!

One of my other career lives was as a behavior specialist and modification worker for Social Services. Much of what I experienced in this field, I firmly feel now, could have been avoided by having a parent in the home.

It has been said to me that this has been the whole intention of the government. To stop fighting women, let them into the work force, because eventually they will see that it's not all it's cracked up to be and they will return to their 'proper" place, that being the hearth and home.

Though this may or may not be true, the fact remains that so few parents are truly paying attention to their kids. Not everyone can afford a nanny to replace the emotional bonds of a parent. Then what?

With the increased number of women working outside the home, the statistics increased for juvenile deliquency, drug abuse and sexual activity amongst teenagers. We all have to pay for that. Personally I take great exception to this. Why should I pay for your child? Especially if you aren't bothered enough to do what needs to be done as a parent? If that means you stop working and come home and be there for your kids when they get home, then so be it. They are your responsibility.

There is no one direction ... but I stand by my feeling that one parent, regardless of gender needs to be in the home. It is the highest responsibility to raise a child to adulthood with the minimum of challenges. Children deserve the best we can give them if we don't want the patterns to repeat.

I have seen varying degrees of "family" life. Hard to say what works and doesn't as I have seen one work for one but not the other. It depends on how many children you have as well ... and at times, gender is an issue.

Anyway this is not a well thought out thesis ...more a vent ... as I get older and I see where my tax dollars are getting spent OR NOT spent, I feel more pissed off. I get pissed off when I hear parent after parent blaming the government, blaming the school system etc. Yep well they are having problems because they are trying to do the work that you as parents should have been doing ... but didn't bother to.

I retired from working with Social Services. My soul could no longer tolerate the lying adults, and the scams and the dishonesty within the system, meant to protect their jobs .... and not the children into whose care they have been entrusted! I have always had better success on a one to one basis with kids ... and I shall stick with that route.